Thoughts Return

It’s been long since i last made a post on here and i must say it has been a period of learning for me. Be not mistaken that my time away from posting was for that purpose, it just happened to be that way.

God has taught me a couple of different things, some i have picked along the way and some have been in the counsel of some heaven-sent friends. It would be sad if i kept to myself the resource that my Father has made me [which at times I find hard to believe] and that is why, being accountable to Him, to me and to everyone who reads this blog, I have decided to put it into writing, to put this vision of mine in letters, that I will from this moment on seek my Father for content on this blog because as far as I am concerned there is a purpose for rwego.wordpress.com on the internet and it is not one that is passive but one that is active, alive, eternal and written in heaven to the converting of a soul out there.

Well, my prayer is that I will be given to listen to what He says so that I don’t run the risk of being some other blogger trying to get the attention of internet users. I pray that all my posts will be inspired by  Him.

So help me God

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To Be

I am who I am because He is who He is
He calms my fears and He heals my dis-ease
He wants my heart even though for him are all the seas
To him trillions are just some loose g’s

He loves me Oh yes He does
Yes He said it, He says it… It’s not just buzz
If I asked He’d give me Mars
When I’m with Him He always has jazz

I’d definitely say alot about Him
He’s a kind of light that never ever grows dim
Thing is when incomplete I seem
I am confident that complete I am in Him

Love

Well, there’s not much i can say about this but the fact is no one in this world can ever be more loved than I am. At the end of such a day, all I can do is sit and reminisce on all the things the good Lord has seen me through. That guy stays faithful although it seems like all there is faithlessness in me. People will go ahead and ask me why I am Christian. Honestly I haven’t quite gotten the words to answer but in my heart I just wish they would wear me for like a day. I promise, they would never ask it again. I’ve doe a couple of things that I’m not proud of that anyone even myself would look at in condemnation but this boss in all his graciousness just comes, leans toward me with a hand to lift me up. No smile beats his, that I guarantee. I have never seen it with my eyes but the fact is it shines down on me each passing day.

Jesus, I thank you for loving me, for being my friend and for saving me from my sin. Without You I am nothing. I turn my mindset around to focus on You and the love you have for me. I am yours and you are mine. May i draw from you each passing day and may my life be filled with the joy of surrendering it to you

You love me 🙂

Lost

The world seems so small at this moment yet it feels like I’m in a large wilderness trying to grab a hold of atleast one hand to understand the weight on my mind. A helping hand to carry this weight along but none in sight. Is it a payment for the things i have done overtime. Is it because, as a person, i find it difficult not to hurt people. It seems I am, but, a wanderer in the desert of learning. I keep on seeing illusions of things that looked like they were. To my demise, they weren’t. All of them seem to disappear like an evasive cloud of mist when the sun comes up. The stars are my companions for the simple reason that they do not think. They just do their job not asking why or how. They are a presence that doesn’t care for who I am or who I’ve been.

My tears only flow to my eyes. Atleast i don’t see any coming out. Because of this, from the outset I am a proud selfish man, only caring about that that directly affects me. Emotions seem distant to me. I only see them in a distance, like a desert storm in the horizon headed for me but never seems to reach. My understanding of mere English language sells me to my adversaries. they tie me up in chains and falsely accuse me to a judge who is only made up by them in my mind. Oh, I actually realise even my adversaries are that figment of my Imagination. Why does this seem so real? I feel like reaching out with my bare hands and through my skull pull out this brain that is constantly at war with me.

One thing I’m persuaded of is the fact that I am not alone. Matter of fact six hands hold me. Some how they stop my skin from giving way in explosion. These hands some how cool down the rages and undesirable fires on the inside. Some how, I just don’t know how, but, my feet stand even when they are as week as a reed

Awkward!!!

I’m seated at my “office” in mbuya with my right hand lazily resting on the mouse and my eyes, in the same mood, staring at the monitor taking a tour through my facebook notifications. I’m waiting for a car that’s supposed to take me to Kamwokya and it’s taking forever to arrive  so don’t crucify me for being that idle at work. Well, the notifications are the usual, someone posted this in that group and another shared a link etcetera. All of a sudden as i scroll, I realise someone has tagged me in a picture. It looks dorky at first sight especially with the tiny thumbnail used in the notifications. I get excited cooking up all kinds of sleek comment styles wondering which one I’m going to use on this one.

I click on the notification with all this excitement. This time the laziness in the stare and the right hand have bowed into submission to the psych and voila… there goes the dorky picture on a white background. It seems like one of those monsters of Sesame street doing a cross eye with what seemed like huge lips expressing a kiss to whoever was looking.

Now damn my brain for being very critical. The picture at first looked like something you could use to make a 6 month old baby smile or a 6 year old to laugh, seriously, it was that innocent. All of a sudden, the face looks weirdly familiar. It was like something I’ve seen before that definitely wasn’t a face. All of a sudden the “Kiss” expression was too lazy to actually be a kiss. Actually it was at this point that I realised that a kiss (or peck) needs alot of mouth muscle power to be realised. Then BAM!!! I saw the picture for what it was. To the demise of the one reading this, I won’t say what the picture really was because of the uncertainty of what it might do to their mind. I quickly inboxed the person who had tagged me in this picture and to my amazement they actually didn’t know the reality of this picture.

Well, somehow,  i was saved by the bell… phew, the vehicle that I was waiting for arrived. I look back on this and I’m wondering what I would have done if i had kept staring t this image, if the car i was waiting for had taken probably another thirty minutes. Mehn… the devil is sharp. He was at the top of his game on this one. 

Moral of the story… BE ALERT… being slow is just not allowed

LOST

The world seems so small at this moment yet it feels like I’m in a large wilderness trying to grab a hold of at least one hand to understand the weight on my mind. A helping hand to carry this weight along but none in sight. Is it a payment for the things i have done overtime. Is it because, as a person, i find it difficult not to hurt people. It seems I am, but, a wanderer in the desert of learning. I keep on seeing illusions of things that looked like they were. To my demise, they weren’t. All of them seem to disappear like an evasive cloud of mist when the sun comes up.

The stars are my companions for the simple reason that they do not think. They just do their job not asking why or how. They are a presence that doesn’t care for who I am or who I’ve been. My tears only flow to my eyes. At least i don’t see any coming out. Because of this, from the outset I am a proud selfish man, only caring about that that directly affects me. Emotions seem distant to me. I only see them in a distance, like a desert storm in the horizon headed for me but never seems to reach. My understanding of mere English language sells me to my adversaries. they tie me up in chains and falsely accuse me to a judge who is only made up by them in my mind. Oh, I actually realize even my adversaries are that figment of my Imagination. Why does this seem so real? I feel like reaching out with my bare hands and through my skull pull out this brain that is constantly at war with me.

One thing I’m persuaded of is the fact that I am not alone. Matter of fact six hands hold me. Some how they stop my skin from giving way in explosion. These hands some how cool down the rages and undesirable fires on the inside. Some how, I just don’t know how, but, my feet stand even when my limbs are as weak as a reed. The quicksand for some reason seems like it pushes me out instead of pulling me into it. Even when it seems like I’m alone, footprints seem to form before me. My hope lies in that involuntary smile that seems to overtake my weary face in this wilderness. That water that wets my throat even when it feels dry.

I am that which I am because He is that which He is. It seems much clearer now. I am held by an overwhelming comfort none like any my supports have ever given me. I am still in one piece because I actually don’t walk in this wilderness. The footsteps i see are not mine. My limbs are carried, they do not tread. My footprints are but in the invisible vapor in the air. The illusions I see are a cloud guiding my path. Faint words I hear give me strength but from where do they come? From the inside, that’s where. From inside, that’s where these words are seated. No wonder though so faint,  they seem to be the loudest. Sweet words of hope and strength. Sweet words that renew my faith in this dry and thirsty land. Words that reassure a tomorrow. Harmonies of three voices all so in sync it seems like one lovely melody. These words make me; I would have given way to the sands in this desert but i still am because of this sweet harmony.

Hold me… and in amazingly harmonious reply… I HOLD YOU

Christians Versus atheists

My blog has a dark background, this might be pretty appropriate for this article here. This just came to my head and i thought i would share it with whoever cares. Christians are people who believe in Jesus the Christ and believe that he was sent by God to earth, died and resurrected and because they believe in this, their sins are forgiven. Atheists are people who don’t believe in a higher deity. Of late, there have been a series of rows between the two about who is right about whatever they believe in. The atheists have actually taken it to every sect of people who believe in a deity calling it foolishness and idiocy. Well, i don’t really care that someone calls christians foolish for believing in God because in any case God uses this foolishness to shame those that believe they are wise. What i have a problem with is the way the christians fight back. God right from the old testament never asked anyone to fight his battles. Matter of fact, his words were, “Be still”. I don’t understand what place  a christian let alone  a pastor has in confronting an atheist on a TV show or radio, whatever, in a bid to logically argue out the existence or non-existence of God. The part, as a christian, that we have to play is to preach the good news of Christ and the coming of the Kingdom of God as Christ demanded we do but not argue out whether God exists or not. When a christian sits and starts arguing with these people, it, in a way, spells out the inability of God to prove himself which is a totally wrong concept. For any atheist reading this, if you really believe there’s no God, i don’t understand why you should get pissed about someone believing in God. I know there is a couple of people who have done stupid things over a misguided conscience and talk of guidance from God but let everyone keep an open mind and let’s stop arguing over opinions. I am fully convinced that there’s a God and ever since i sat at a bar (four points at centenary park) and argued with a couple of guys over intelligent design and Darwin’s theory of evolution, i promised myself i’ll never try to prove my God in that sort of manner because it sucks, i repeat, sucks!! The bible says that we ought to be ready to explain our faith and not to logically argue it out. it is a christian’s place to sit back and relax while God proves himself and not with atheists arguing about the existence of Noah’s ark on Mt. Ararat. God is real and some day, not me, not any christian but God himself, will prove it to everyone who has ever breathed the air of this atmosphere and in that day…